Hitoe no Anata
by DJ Moves
Summary: Before he can celebrate his anniversity with the man he claims to love, Kaiba must first come to terms with his cheating. Y/K K/J


Title: Hitoe no Anata  
  
Author: JD  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I lack legal rights. No sue me.  
  
Notes: Kaiba's P.O.V. Title means "Only You, My Darling." (sort of)  
  
Is it my fault I like him like this?  
  
Of course, idiot.  
  
Of course it's your fault.  
  
You're Jou's boyfriend, but here you are, at Yugi's again.  
  
I think Yugi feels just as bad. He'd have to, right? Jou's his best friend. I'm *only* his boyfriend. I don't mean it like that. I just mean...fuck it, it's rotten no matter how I phrase it.  
  
Jounochi...Katsuya...whatever. Took me forever to call him anything other than mutt. Suddenly, it's impossible to call him Katsuya. I don't think he notices. At the same time, he hates me when I call him that, so who knows? Maybe he's just finding relief.  
  
But J--Katsuya knows I like to play games with him. So he should know this isn't just me being nice. This is me...cheating on him. With that...Yugi kid. It's not my fault that Yugi is really...something in bed. You'd think someone that immature would be a virgin. Quite the contrary. He's...very aggressive. Very. Which I find so incredibly hot. It's not very often I meet someone who isn't even the least bit intimidated by me.  
  
His Yami is on some moral trip about how what Yugi is doing is wrong and I'm much worse.  
  
Yugi doesn't wear the Puzzle when he visits me now.  
  
And I stopped wearing the ring. The ring with mine and Jounochi's initials engraved. He spent a lot on it for our 1-year anniversary.  
  
K. J.. & S. K.  
  
He doesn't ask about it. When I first didn't wear it, as if to test it, he didn't take his eyes off my finger the entire time. But never once did he say anything. It almost made me feel worse than if he had. I think.  
  
At first, I tried really hard to keep a balance between Jounochi and Yugi. Then I cut Yugi out for a little while. Then picked him back up. And now I've become careless with it all. I don't care if he finds out. He won't care. He's Jounochi Katsuya. He enjoys pain because that's what I give him.  
  
In bed? He's begging me. Every little bit. He looses all of his manhood he fights so hard to show off. After a rough day at work? He asks--ASKS!-- me to hit him; so I'll feel better. Because he knows I do. I like--like? LOVE!--seeing his caramel eyes clouded over with tears. Every black and blue mark that dots his skin is MINE! Because he's MINE.  
  
What a pathetic dog.  
  
It didn't start out that way. Ha, just look at the damn ring. It was a beautiful relationship. I stopped being cold, he stopped being childish and we just...meshed together. We were inseparable. I don't know why. I still can't figure it out. I guess we were just so in love.  
  
But what now?  
  
Yugi came to me.  
  
I didn't want it. I fought it. I did the first time. And the second, and the third...until I let that pain and want and lust and need and hurt and fear and trust and yearning wash over my body. Until I let Yugi take control because you can get lost in those damn eyes. And he knows it. He's so manipulative and yet you don't even know it until times like these and you're staring yourself in the mirror begging yourself to answer WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!  
  
I didn't hit Katsuya until Yugi forced himself upon me.  
  
So is it really my fault?  
  
Yes, because I am so weak.  
  
Strong outside with a crumpling inside.  
  
How I've always been.  
  
Except with Katsuya.  
  
The phone startles me out of my thoughts and I turn to it with question, as if I've never seen one before. I pick it up gingerly and bring it to me ear. "M-moshi, moshi?"  
  
"Seto?" Katsuya breaths into the phone.  
  
"J-Katsuya, h-how are you?"  
  
"Fine," he says strangely. If he was here, I'd bring him into my arms and rock him back and forth. At least, the pre-Yugi me would have. Gomen. "Is Yugi over there?"  
  
I cough uncontrollably. He had never asked that question and for all he knew, Yugi and I couldn't stand each other. Right? "Um, no he's not," I finally manage.  
  
"Mmm..." he says softly, as if he's contemplating something. "Can I come over?"  
  
"Of course," I say a bit too fast and cringe. Damnit, damnit, damnit. I'd have to cancel with Yugi. He wouldn't like it.  
  
"Okay," he says softly. "I'll be over soon."  
  
"Okay, syanor--" He hangs up, cutting me off. I click the phone and dial. "Is Yugi-kun there?" I ask, knowing full well it's his Yami and so, yes.  
  
"Kaiba," he says shortly. "Yes he is."  
  
"May I please speak to him?"  
  
"You know, Kaiba, it's your anniversary."  
  
I cringe and look over at the calendar. Holy fuck it is. I lean my forehead on my free hand and began tightening my grip on my hair, pulling at it. "May I speak to Yugi-kun," I whisper.  
  
"By all means, please do."  
  
"Kaiba?" Yugi's cheerful voice comes on.  
  
"Yeah, um, about tonight--"  
  
"What about it?" his voice instantly turns dark, like, I'm sure, nothing that no one else has ever heard.  
  
"I can't do it," I whisper, my arm, holding my head, begins to slip down.  
  
"And why's that?" he asks irritated.  
  
"It's my anniversary. Is tomorrow going to be okay?"  
  
He laughs and I feel a shiver run up my spine. Almost worse than Yami Marik's laugh. Almost. "Oh, of *course*, Kaiba-san. Whatever is good for you."  
  
I swallow. "Syanora, Yugi-kun."  
  
"Syanora, hitoe no Kaiba."  
  
I hang up the phone and rest my head on my arms. A short time later, I feel warm, strong arms wrap around me. "Hey," Katsuya's beautiful voice whispers in my ear and I lean up to be caressed by him. His cheek goes over mine and his warm breath tickles my skin. "Are you okay?" he whispers, concerned.  
  
"Now I am," I whisper back as corny as it sounds.  
  
He pulls me gently to the couch and we sit quietly, me in his lap, though I'm not facing him. His mouth rests at my neck and I swivel around a bit so I can look him in the eyes, but still look away without being too obvious. The arm rests comfortably on my back, along with his arms that holds me close, while my legs lie carelessly along the rest of the couch.  
  
"Happy anniversary," he whispers into my ear, putting a wrapped box in my hands.  
  
I pull the paper off and stare at it with eyes that grow misty. It's a picture frame--obviously home-made, I smile-- of blue and green plaid with puppy and cat prints on it. "Oh, Katsu--" his name gets caught in my throat. "It's beautiful." I stare at the picture he put in it. It's from before. We were at a fair and he was harassing me quite cutely with cotton candy...one of the few sweets I like...when Honda, the goofball who surprisingly supported our relationship, snapped a picture.  
  
"I didn't mean anything by asking about Yugi," the words rushed out and my tears turn to soft sobs by the sound of his *begging* to let everything be okay. I let the picture slide to the carpeted floor as I begin sobbing into my hands. "Please, please--" I hear him beg and I can't take it anymore. I don't deserve him. He doesn't deserve this.  
  
"Jou-Jou...Katsuya...I didn't get you anything." Whoa, there's, like, the tip of the iceberg. "I-I forgot."  
  
"It's okay, it's okay. You forgot what day it is all the time. You've been so busy at work..."  
  
"N-no...stop it, Katsuya. Who told you?" I force myself to look in his hurt eyes.  
  
He looks down. "Y-Yami..." he whispers.  
  
I'd stopped sobbing by then and only tears fall now, staring into his pain- filled eyes. "How long have you known?"  
  
"For...for awhile now..." he whispers, finally meeting my gaze.  
  
"Why didn't you--?"  
  
He tightens his grip on me and I realize how sick inside I feel for hurting him. I wonder how it felt for him... "Because I *love* you, Seto," he whispers. I finally notice the glistening of tears forming in his eyes. "I'm wiling to do *anything* to make you happy." His hand takes my face in it and holds me gently. "I love you," he whispers, drawing me into a kiss.  
  
I stop him, reaching my fingers up to graze over a bruise on his cheek. My bruise. He stares at me startled. "Don't do this," I whisper. "You deserve so much more..."  
  
He pushes past me and brings me into a demanding kiss. *Like before...* His tongue goes over mine, my hands wonder over his body. God, it had been so long since we kissed with such passion that it left me a bit dizzy afterwards. When I finally had things in focus, Katsuya was smiling down at me. "Don't let it worry you, Seto. It's fine."  
  
Were we talking about the same thing? Yes, but it wasn't hurting him the way it should. Or maybe it had been hurting him this entire time and it wasn't *I* who pulled away. But of course I did... "I love you, Katsuya," I whisper. "But this isn't fair to you--"  
  
"Shhh," he commanded, taking my face in both of his hands. "You're wonderful, Seto. I understand. If I were you, I'd want to cheat on me--"  
  
Damnit, he finally put it in words. "No! No, Katsuya, don't you *ever* think that. It was something else." I slide off his lap onto the couch, but take him by the shoulders and I know I look crazy. "It was like drugs, Kat. The first time was hell and the next I couldn't stand it and the next I felt sick until I became...*addicted* to it, Jou. It wasn't you, god, it *so* wasn't you. I love *you*, Katsu. Don't *ever* think otherwise."  
  
He looks at me like he scared to believe it. Yugi had become a drug for me. Then he wraps me up in a secure hug and soothes me as I sob into his chest, scared, so scared...scared of myself...  
  
I drift off until I hear Jou's angry voice say, "I don't *care*, Yugi."  
  
I sit up, startled, then fall back against Jou, realizing he's on the phone. His hand goes soothingly through my hair and I clutch onto him, listening to his conversation.  
  
"You called *here* and you obviously knew I was here. Yes, I know. YES. Don't deny it. I *know*. He wouldn't be crying like this if it wasn't true, Yugi. Don't give me that. Your Yami. Yeah, yeah...yeah...shut up. You're my best friend, Yugi. I know you did this. Not him. Not his fault he couldn't say no. Don't *give me THAT*, Yugi. Oh, you want to know how I know? You have a lot of nerve... You want me to say it? Fine. Fine. Yeah, I know because you did it to me. There, happy? Do you like ruining people's relationships? Is it some sort of hobby? Yeah, thanks a lot. No, I'm not mad. Jesus, Yugi, you're still my best friend. Okay, fine, be mad. Fine. You'll be speaking to me by tomorrow." He hung up and kissed me on the top of the head. "Did I wake you?" he whispered.  
  
"What do you mean, 'Yeah, I know because you did it to me'?" I whispered.  
  
He began stroking at my hair. "Remember when Honda and I dated very briefly?"  
  
"Sort of." I hadn't really been very nice to Jou at the time.  
  
"He seduced me," Jou whispered. "Yugi likes to get in between people. I don't know why."  
  
I hug him close and listen to his heartbeat. "I love you, Katsuya," I finally whisper.  
  
He folds his arms around me. "I know," he whispers back. "But don't think we're not going to talk about this later."  
  
I nod, drifting back to sleep. 


End file.
